Why Is Coach Picking On Me?

Over my long playing career I played for all kinds of different coaches with various personalities. Many had their way of “motivating” players to get the most out of their talent. The BEST coaches looked to develop the player’s talent regardless of the immediate results. This article will discuss some ways you can navigate the various personalities of coaches and how you can understand the most critical question in baseball development—why?

Why Why?

The question “why?” is often left out of the relationship between player and coach. Players are often too afraid to ask this all-important question, and by neglecting to ask why they are being asked to do something they don’t understand, they lack enthusiasm, and results suffer. This makes a coach feel that the player “doesn’t get it” or “is not buying into my system.” A lack of communication often causes this rift between player and coach.

11U Travel Ball

A great example of this happened when I was coaching 11U travel ball. I had a player with a PERFECT left-handed swing. Technically, all the pieces were there in batting practice, but he struggled to make good contact in the games. I asked him to work one-on-one with me in the cage to determine why. After a few swings, I noticed that he used the whole field in practice, but he constantly rolled over pitches to the right side in the games. He would crush in BP up the middle or the other way. Here’s where I failed the player as a coach—I kept screaming, “Hit it the other way” during games, but the player never asked me why. By not understanding my advice, the player was caught between approaches, and it started to irritate me that he wasn’t listening. I kept asking myself what is the reason for this vast difference between his terrible game ABs and his perfect batting practice.

I sat the young player down for a chat and asked him what he thought I meant when I said hit the ball the other way. To my amazement, he thought I was trying to change his perfect swing when what I was really trying to do was change his mental approach, allowing his perfect swing to be in the bat path longer so he could pull inside pitches PROPERLY and not roll over them.

That’s when he finally asked, “WHY, Coach?” Once I proved to him that his batting practice approach was to hit the bat where it was pitched, but in the game he tried to pull everything down the right field line, a light went off in his head. He started to smile and realized I wasn’t trying to pick on him, I was trying to help him. The burden of his negativity towards me was lifted, and now we had shifted from an adversarial relationship to one of trust and mentoring. It was a lack of communication on my part and a lack of understandingof  my motivation on the player’s part. Lesson learned by both of us!

Division I College Baseball

USC Coach Mike Gillespie and author Jim Campanis, JR reunite in a 2016 image. Coach Gillespie was Mike’s Coach at USC During his All-American seasons.

When I was a sophomore at USC, a new coach came in. The previous coach, NCAA Hall of Famer Rod Dedeaux, recruited me, but that didn’t mean a thing to the new coach, Mike Gillespie, who is in his final year at the University of California Irvine.

Coach Gillespie almost immediately was on me for EVERYTHING! He hated my shoes, my stylish 1987 mullet, my clothes, how I walked, how I ran, how I carried myself—EVERYTHING!

As a young player, I chalked it up to one thought, “Coach hates me!”

As we began our first practice sessions to prepare for the Fall season, he continued to rip on me, and he always ensured he did it in front of everyone. He made me the “bad” example when we had team meetings saying things like, “Campanis was late to back up the first base” or “Campanis didn’t look the runner back, and the run scored”—always the center of the negative comments and it was pissing me off.

I called my dad, who played 15 years as a pro player and started venting about the circumstances. I said, “Dad, Gillespie is always riding me, yelling at me, and telling me all the things I do wrong even telling me I don’t deserve a scholarship. I can’t stand him!”

What my dad said shocked me, and I’ll never forget it. He asked, “Are you playing every game?” I answered that I was playing every game but not catching much, as I was playing mostly first base and DHing.

Then he said, “The second he stops yelling at you—it’s time to start worrying.” WHOA! I hadn’t considered he was on me because he felt I wasn’t living up to my potential as an overall player. He NEVER told me I wasn’t good. He NEVER told me I couldn’t hit or throw or catch. He motivated me to be a “Complete” player and not just a hitter. So, I changed my attitude toward his coaching style, which made a big difference. Soon, he complimented me on how I executed a play during team meetings when, months earlier, he used me as an example of how NOT to do it.

The next year, I was on the first team of all-Americans, and my records were still on the books at USC. Coach Gillespie ended up being the most influential coach I ever played for, and he didn’t teach me a damn thing about hitting or throwing or fielding—he taught me how to become a complete player and a better human being. What a BLESSING! But it was a NIGHTMARE for nearly a year.

Baseball Coach Types

From my experience as a player and coach, I’ve observed various coaching styles. Here are a few that may sound familiar:

The SCREAMER

He wears his emotions on his sleeve. He yells when you make mistakes and yells when you succeed. This type of coach wants his players to develop and grow and feels his emotions and passion will translate to motivating his players. However, certain players with low-key personalities only hear the volume of the words, not the message. This coach is almost always intimidating, and players fear asking “Why” because they fear tongue-lashing. But this coach wants to help and is usually the most genuine of all the coach personalities. So be brave and ask why if you don’t understand his instructions or decisions.

The Intellectual

This coach is all about the numbers and treats the team like chess pieces. He tactfully sets agendas for practice and is precise and deliberate with everything he does, but it’s all kept in his notebook. Usually, this coach is not a very good communicator and makes decisions without warning, which can cause hatred and insecurity. Once again, lack of communication for the player’s role is often the reason. Ask, and he will tell you his entire plan and where you stand on his chess board…even if you don’t like it.

The MUST-WIN Coach

This coach is both quiet and a screamer in the same team meeting. He is completely obsessed with winning at all costs, including interpersonal relationships. If a player boots a ground ball in the first inning, he takes him out and replaces him mid-inning. How embarrassing for the young player! This type of coach is my least favorite to deal with. Often, their obsession with winning clouds what is the most important, and that is developing players to succeed at the next level. This coach is tough to establish a dialogue with, but this wall must be broken down somehow, and communication must begin if you are singled out. Ask what you can do to improve and if the coach can help you. If this coach is worth anything, they will see this as an opportunity to mold you into the player they want on their winning team.

The DAD Coach

Even in High School I see unfair treatment for kids of coaches in what is commonly called “Daddy Ball”. Their kid is playing shortstop, batting 2nd, and never gets taken out of the game, no matter how badly they perform. This extends to high school and college in what is called “Donor Ball,” where the parents of players donate thousands or even hundreds of thousands of dollars to the program with the understanding that their son makes the team. My only advice is to avoid this coach if at all possible. No words or dialogue will change their minds. Not all coaches with sons on the team are like this, so do your homework. But chances are, if you play the same position as his kid, you aren’t going to play. Sad.

The Developer Coach

The BEST coach is there to develop players to get to the next level, whether going from 10U to 12U or high school to college. This coach is not usually the perennial championship coach because he cares more about the development of players than winning. Developing a pitcher takes time and often failure. The MUST-win coach yanks the pitcher after a lead-off walk, while the developer coach sees this as an opportunity for that pitcher to learn how to get out of a jam. Ask most MLB players; they will name a coach who helped them develop, even if it hurt the team. I certainly can name a few, including Coach Gillespie.

Why is Coach Picking On Me?

If you’re thinking, “Why is the coach always picking on me?” Consider yourself lucky. If the coach never says a word to you, be concerned. The key to having a good rapport with any coach is to communicate. Some will be short with you, and some will be very open, but like with any relationship in your life, you must also be patient, attentive, and understanding.

Coaching players and seeing them succeed is one of the most satisfying things in my life. It’s like I helped turn a piece of coal into a sparkling diamond. I genuinely believe most coaches feel the same way, and most coaches you will encounter as an amateur are sacrificing their time to help you grow as a player and person. But it’s a two-way street. Communication is the only way to understand your role and how you can change that role if you’re not happy with where the coach has put you. Work hard, but always ask “Why?” if you don’t understand. This will help you and the coach have a better relationship and understanding of how you fit within the team’s structure.